Friday, May 3, 2013

Quiz chapter 6-7 If you are not here for today's quiz, take notes over the quizzed chapters.





Read ch 8-9 for tomorrow; we read 8 in class.


You might be able to take notes over the chapters and use those notes on the test..

Zen humor for period 3; period 4 did it yesterday.

Those bits of humor are contained here:










THE POWER OF ZEN

1. A closed mouth gathers no foot.



2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.



3. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.



4. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.



5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.



6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.



7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.



8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.



9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.



10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.



11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.



12. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again,

it was probably worth it.



13. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark

side, and it holds the universe together.



14. Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners? 


A: Because they have no attachments.



15. Q: What does a Buddhist wish someone on their birthday? 


A: May you have many happy returns.



16. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.



17. Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? 


A: None, they are the light bulb.



18. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.



19. There are two theories that apply when arguing with women. Neither one works.



20. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the heck alone.



21. My mechanic said to me: I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.



22. A day without sunshine is like, night.

23. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.



24. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



25. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened.



26. Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?


A: Make me one with everything.



27. After the Buddhist paid for the hotdog, he asked,” Didn’t I give you a twenty dollar bill? Where is my change?

The vendor replied, “Change must come from within.”





28. Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"



The other replies: "I'm fine, thanks."



"And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?"



"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."



"Meditating? What's that?"



"I don't know. But it's better than sitting around and doing nothing!"







30.Science truth: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



31. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.